Got Well Soon [Jess]

Jess just flopped down in one of the kitchen chairs, taking another long pull on the gas station coffee, it was no substitute for actual sleep, but it kept the ache away from behind her eyeballs for a little longer.

"Just...fuck. That was my favorite pizza too." Weird, after everything she'd just watched here, it was the stupid, fucking pizza she commented on first. Like out of everything...who really cared about that? "Yeah. Usual sandwich is fine." She agreed, shaking her head a little.

"Just...okay. I gotta say it. What the fuck is up with your family?" She finally asked. "Like...maybe I really am just that tired...but...what the fuck was that about? Like...she flew in from the fucking Middle East just to call you crazy a bunch of times then run off by herself anyway? Like..." She spread her hands and shrugged.

"I dunno what I should even say to this."

After a moment she got up and went to join him in the kitchen. "Hey...me bitching aside...you okay?" He didn't look okay, and she worried about him.

Mido didn't look up from the task he was currently hyper focused on as she spoke, letting out a laugh that wasn't entirely put together and nodding, "Yeah, sorry...Sorry...That was out of line...She just..." He trailed off, passing the finished sandwich over to her when he finally managed to actually get it put together, "it's always been like this." He said the words a bit more loudly, a bit more bluntly than he'd meant to, "she's never seen it, she's always been everyone's favorite. Even mom's I think..." His voice cracked a little, and he bit down hard on his lip to stop that in its tracks, moving over to the sink to start watching off the knife he'd used.

"It's not their fault." He said this bluntly as he cleaned off the knife, letting out a sharp hiss when he sliced open his thumb, "Shit!" He bit down on his lip again, then turned a smile her way, "I'm fine. It's not their fault." He looked down as he started rinsing his bleeding digit, "they tried. They tried." He was mumbling hastily now, "It's not their fault I'm fucking broken. They tried." He felt like his heart might hammer right out of his chest, "you can't fix broken people. Can maybe make them look a little prettier. But they're still fucking ugly and broken." His words became a snarl as he stared hard as the blood in the sink.

Jess had seen Mido start to spiral before, and knew exactly what she was looking at right now. This drew her hyper focus and she came to his side, pushing the knife away from him and taking his arms, turning him away from the sink.

"Hey. Hey, look at me. Mido, look at me." She looked up at him intently. "You're not broken, okay? I don't care what she says...or your mom says...or I dunno...what the fucking president would say...you're not broken. You're not crazy. Your mom's real and she's gonna find that out real soon when she runs out there and finds out, gee, no shit, he wasn't lying."

She turned his hand over to look at the cut on his thumb, judging how deep it was and how to wrap it up. "It's okay, YOu're just tired right now...we both are...let's just eat..then take a nap or something, okay?"

Mido seemed content darting his eyes around everywhere in the room to to meet hers until she told him to look at her, finally resting his eyes down into her's with a wide, distressed, unblinking expression. Her words relaxed the tension in his shoulders, just a little bit, and he felt his eyes start to water, "I just wanted them to look at me like they looked at Fareeha..." He closed his eyes tight, "but I was always the broken child. Not worth trying to fix, because I was never going to amount to anything anyway." His gaze relaxed, "stupid people don't amount to anything. I'm stupid, I'm not smart, or strong, or any of the things she is...But they wanted me to be..." He knew he was rambling in a somewhat disjointed way, but he couldn't seem to bring his brain back onto a single track again.

He glanced up at her when she suggested they eat and take a nap, "I'm not hungry...But...Laying down sounds really nice..." He wasn't physically tired himself, but he was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and laying in bed with Jessica sounded like a nice alternative to pacing the house having a panic attack.

"Nu-uh." Jess's tone was suddenly stern. "No, we're not doing this." She frowned up at him. "You're not stupid, you're not dumb or worthless. So she what? She works out and went into the military and hates food that tastes like food. Woo-hoo, so what? That's her thing...bet she doesn't paint...or sculpt...or make music...or do any of the dozens and dozens of things you do, and you do *well*." She put her hands on his arms, tightening her grip slightly.

"We're not doing this." She repeated. "You're better than this, and I'm not gonna get one crazy, self impressed woman wreck all that for you!"

She waited to let that sink in. "Alright? They're not worth your effort...if this is the shit they're gonna do..."

He hung onto Jessica's words, taking in the stern and honest tone in her voice as she reassured him, and shut down that self depreciating talk that he was terrible about getting into sometimes, "Sorry...Sorry...You're right." He swallowed the lump and shook his head, like he was trying desperately to shake the cobwebs away, "I know I haven't been me...I was starting to feel better..." He glanced to the side with a slightly bitter expression, "I don't even know why I called her." He hated feeling that way, like he couldn't rely on his own sister to take him seriously, "she used to stick up for me y'know? But..." He tugged Jess to where they could both sit.

"You've never spoken down to me." He ran a hand through his hair, "she always does that...Talks to me like I'm five...Like I'm too feeble minded to understand." He looked down, "I think they all kind of thought that...No one ever let me stand on my own because they thought I was too mentally challenged to...But." He lifted a hand to rest it on her cheek, "you let me do that, you're patient, even when I can't get my thoughts out fast enough. You don't tune me out." He lifted his other hand to her cheek, giving her a soft smile, "I just...I value you so much, Jess. I love you so much..."

Jess considered him and his words seriously for a long moment. "Like...I dunno...it seems like after meeting them both...that there's this sort of..." She seemed to be considering her thoughts and words as she said them. "Like, they're all these crazy military types, and it's like that's the only way that's 'right' for them...if that makes sense? Maybe they just think you're broken cause they just don't understand." She let out a bit of a sigh as she leaned against him.

"I dunno. Maybe you were just trying to make a connection or something. I can see why you'd reach out...but just...damn. Yeah, I don't really like how she talked to you...but you know what? I like you. And I don't think you're crazy. And if she wants to run off and play hero with your mom or whatever is going on...let her. I mean, she's gonna find out your mom is real so she'll have to admit she was wrong about that one." She couldn't help it, the thought brought a slight smirk. "Bitch still owes me a pizza though."

She tilted her head to look up at him. "I love you too. It's gonna be okay. YOu'll see." She promised.

Mido gave her a long look before nodding, letting out a heavy sigh, "they are. They always have been." He mused on this, putting an arm around her and pulling her close, "I've always felt like I didn't belong. Like I just...Didn't fit." He leaned back against the couch, gently tugging her with him so she could get comfortable while also eating, "When I was younger, there were a lot of times where I wished something would happen to me..." He paused, chewing his lip as if deciding whether he wanted to say more, "that something would...Kill me...Or make me disappear...Because I didn't feel like I fit in...I didn't feel like I would ever fit in." His eyes darkened a little, "Fareeha has always felt like I had no reason to feel these things." He flopped his head back against the arm of the couch, "I'm used to being dismissed by her at this point."

He glanced down at her at that and smiled, "that's why I appreciate you...Because you like me as me." He wrapped his arms around her tighter, "you make me feel strong, and confident...I've never felt that before." He glanced down, "no one ever let me feel that way..." He gave a smirk at her when she commented on the pizza, leaning to kiss her temple softly, "after you get some much needed rest we'll go out for pizza, alright?" He chuckled, "you wont get a pizza from her. She doesn't admit when she's wrong." He grinned at that, feeling a bit less on edge now, "She can dislike you all she wants. You're here to stay, for as long as you want me."