Post by Junkrat on Nov 20, 2016 9:28:23 GMT
It was always late at night when the worst thoughts would creep into his broken brain, crawling down his back like ice water to plant those insidious little seeds of doubt. He'd always had abandonment issues, it came with growing up the way he did, with waking up in a nightmare left behind by everyone who loved him, growing up alone in a place where everyone eventually left or died, and those issues only seemed to worsen as he got older, until they could be considered a legitimate fear, or a phobia.
There was so much to distract him in the day, but nothing to occupy his mind at night, when Lucio and Michael had gone to sleep, when the whole house was quiet except for the gentle music coming from a radio that Lucio kept on. That was when the thoughts ate away at him the most, and when he began to get that scared, panicky feeling that always crept up on him late at night.
Jamison glanced over at Lucio's sleeping form as he sat up in the bed, staring at him for a long time, he could do better, he wondered if Lucio knew that he could do better. He put a hand over his chest as that awful, racing feeling tightened in his chest, he was used to this by now, to staying up until the sun came up just to make sure Lucio didn't leave, only to crash for an hour, it was beginning to show in the fatigue he felt during the day, but he hadn't told Lucio what was wrong yet.
It felt like the worst kind of waiting game, waiting for the day where he'd wake up and find both of them gone, where he'd find himself abandoned again. His breath quickened as his fear seemed drowning, and he felt like he might faint from the speed his heart was racing. After a moment of watching Lucio sleep in a wide eyed panic, he hesitantly reached forwards and nudged him, unable to even form words properly in his current state.
There was so much to distract him in the day, but nothing to occupy his mind at night, when Lucio and Michael had gone to sleep, when the whole house was quiet except for the gentle music coming from a radio that Lucio kept on. That was when the thoughts ate away at him the most, and when he began to get that scared, panicky feeling that always crept up on him late at night.
Jamison glanced over at Lucio's sleeping form as he sat up in the bed, staring at him for a long time, he could do better, he wondered if Lucio knew that he could do better. He put a hand over his chest as that awful, racing feeling tightened in his chest, he was used to this by now, to staying up until the sun came up just to make sure Lucio didn't leave, only to crash for an hour, it was beginning to show in the fatigue he felt during the day, but he hadn't told Lucio what was wrong yet.
It felt like the worst kind of waiting game, waiting for the day where he'd wake up and find both of them gone, where he'd find himself abandoned again. His breath quickened as his fear seemed drowning, and he felt like he might faint from the speed his heart was racing. After a moment of watching Lucio sleep in a wide eyed panic, he hesitantly reached forwards and nudged him, unable to even form words properly in his current state.
