The end of His Rope [Lucio]

Just before Jamie got to the exit, Lucio spotted him and noticed that bag. That didn't sit right. The musician skated his way over to stop in front of the other, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted just a bit. "Jamie? Where are you going?" Lucio asked softly, not wanting to bring any attention to them as he moves his hand to remove the visor from his face before frowning. What happened at Gibraltar had brought everyone down and messed with everyone emotionally but they're safe here. Safer anyway.

Lucio has some idea of what Jamie is doing but he doesn't want to assume the wrong things but he really doesn't want him to leave. Jamie can't leave. "You're not leaving are you?"

He'd never felt an instinctive flinch upon hearing Lucio's voice, but he did so visibly when he called to him. He looked over at him with eyes that spoke volumes, he wasn't trying to hide it anymore, there was no confidence left, no valiant effort to hide just how badly he was breaking, he didn't have the energy to pretend anymore, he was broken, and his eyes said that better than his words ever could, "m'sorry, mate." He let out a trembling sigh as he leaned heavily against the wall, looking away from his gaze, "I...C-c-can't do this anymore...It's too much...An' I'm too fuckin' broken, Lucio...I'm too broken..." His breath hitched, like he was holding back enough tears to fill an ocean. He lifted his hand to rub it over his eyes, "I'm not cut out fer this...M'too fucked in th'head t'be any use here."

He shouldered his bag and looked away, there was a part of him desperately wanting to cry for help. Help me oh god help me. But it was being bullied into keeping quiet by the part of him that still couldn't let people see how phenomenally broken he really was, "I love yew Lucio...A-an' I always will." He stepped closer, "I-I'll be around...J-jus'...I'm..." He felt the tears welling up and choked them down, "I'm so fuckin' scared...Not jus' of wot's been going on but...I'm scared of myself. I'm scared of wot's goin' on in me 'ead an'...I'm so sorry..." He could feel his legs becoming rather weak, his whole body beginning to tremble, "I've tried t'be strong fer yew...Fer everyone...B-but..." He sunk to the ground and whimpered, "I don't got anyone t'be strong fer me..." He put his hands over the side of his head, "I can't do this...M'not a hero...M'to fucking broken t'be a hero..."

Those eyes. Lucio frowned as he listens to what Jamie has to say, his own eyes tearing up as he bites the bottom of his lips. He'll rub his arm a bit as he looks off to the side, taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Don't get upset, Lucio. None of you guys need that. "I know we've been through a lot since we were brought here, but we're needed here. You're needed here. I need you here," he'll reply rather quietly as he turns his gaze back to Jamie, frowning more. "You are a hero, you are. You're one to me and Michael and.. you can't go. You can't leave me." Lucio then moved his hand to rub his eyes before trying to calm himself down before his emotions get too out of hand. He has been learning to channel them better but this is hard.

"I love you too," he mumbled, looking up at the other when Jamie stepped closer, not liking this turn of event at all. Jamie's leaving and he doesn't want him to go. It'll end everything. "I wish I could help you but.. I can't and that's what hurts me the most. Don't be sorry, alright?" Lucio then moved to kneel down, resting his hands on Jamie's shoulders with a hopeful look. "You are strong, you're stronger than you think. Please think about everything before you finally decide on it."

He looked up at him with a hopeless expression as he listened to him speak, trying to find shelter and rest in his words, but he just couldn't, and instead turned his face down, "I've been through hell an' back...Even before being brought 'ere...I'm just...Exhausted." How much bending could one person take before they shattered? He'd lived through enough hell to fill several lifetimes before he was even old enough to legally drink most places, "I don't wanna...I'm jus'...so tired, Lucio..." He rested his head against the wall with a rather deadened look in his eyes, "I'm tired and hurtin' inside an' out...An' no one can help because they got their own shit t'deal with." He closed his eyes tightly, allowing tears to roll down his cheeks, "it feels like I only get more and more broken..."

He opened his eyes after a moment and looked sad, letting out a heavy sigh, "no one kin help me...I'm beyond help." He glanced up at him when he felt his hands on his shoulders, letting out a shaky breath, "I'm sick of bein' strong..." He couldn't seem to stop his shaking now, whimpering like a hurt dog, "I'm sick of havin' t'be strong...I jus' wanna be weak..." He wrapped his arms around himself and looked incredibly distressed, "I jus' wanna be weak...An' have someone be strong fer me fer a change..." He'd been playing strong for everyone here for so long, for Lucio, and Ansell, and Ana, and Jack, "I don't want t'leave...But I can't...Keep doin' this..."

Hearing Jamie talk this way is only hurting more and Lucio moved his hands away from the other, moving to sit down instead. He wants to help, but he has no idea how he can. He has tried his best in his own way but it's not working anymore and it hurts. "What can I do to help, though? How can anyone help if you don't say anything? Running away won't fix anything," he'll grumble softly, getting more upset by each passing second. "You've been doing good here, Jamie, please trust me on this." Well, what's the point? Jamie is at his wits end and seems sure on his decision to go. Lucio has no idea what to do or say anymore but he really doesn't want the other to go.

Should he reach for him or will it not do a thing to help? Now he doesn't know. Lucio shifted a bit to curl up, turning his gaze elsewhere. "Maybe you can talk to Jack about not letting you go on anymore missions and just stay here instead. I don't know anymore, Jamie," he'll mumble as he looks at the other again with a broken expression on his face. "I don't want you to leave me and all this here, but if that's your decision, then I'm in no place to stop you." Now that sounded a bit harsh, especially coming from someone like Lucio but it's true. It is mainly Jamie's decision and Lucio has no power over it. "I'm.. sorry if that sounded mean or anything but.. I don't know how to help. I don't know what to do."

Junkrat could tell that he was hurting Lucio, he sighed and looked to the side, away from him with a helpless expression, "s-sorry...Yew shouldn't have t'deal with my bullshit." He looked back at him with a lost sort of expression, saying what he meant was so hard, "I don't know how t'say anythin'...B-because I don't know wot yew or anyone can do..." He put his hands on the sides of his head and closed his eyes, "I jus' keep hurtin' yew an' gettin' yew into trouble...A-an' I jus' don't know why yew ain't bailed on me yet..." It wasn't like he wanted to leave, he just saw no other way out, no other escape from everything that was eating away at him. He was at his wits end.

He glanced over at him and frowned, "thas' not wot I want...I...I don't want t'leave...I jus' want t'stop hurting." After a moment he sighed, slipping off the knapsack and coming closer to Lucio, "I jus'...Need yew." He looked broken himself as he sunk to the floor, resting his head against Lucio's chest, "I jus' need yew t'be okay with me...Not bein' strong all th'time." He'd done a good job pretending like he didn't need to just be held and soothed, "I'm wearin' so thin, mate...I-I wont leave yew. Yew need me. A-an..." He gave him a weak smile, "I love yew to much...T'go..." He would just have to learn to fight through this shit, he supposed, too many people counted on him being strong.

"Isn't that what boyfriends do? Deal with each other's weaknesses and emotions? Or am I doing something wrong?" Lucio asked softly as he moves to rub the back of his neck as he bites the bottom of his lips a bit again. Though he'll only sigh again as he sniffles, deciding to try his best to not hurt his lips too bad. "I can't do anything, I know that now. I.. I just want everyone happy but I guess I'm not doing a very good job with that. Uhm.. I really do wish I could help more, but the best thing I can do is just listen." He'll then look to the side again, staring at the floor before shaking his head. "You're not doing anything bad or getting me into trouble. And I love you, and I know that you have so much potential." Then he forced himself to look at Jamie again. "There's no reason for me to leave."

"It'll never stop hurting, Jamie, and I know that it's not what you want to hear, but it's true. I.." Lucio then stopped, losing his train of thought as he lets out a deep sigh, letting out a small noise when Jamie got close. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the other man to hold him close and tight. "I've always been okay with you not being strong all the time. No one can be strong day and night, it's impossible. I don't care if you cry or yell or anything, I'll always be here, alright?" Lucio then pulled away a bit, moving his hand to rest it on Jamie's cheek to wipe away those tears. "I love you too, Jamie, more than you think." He then sniffled again with that same, lingering, frown. "Then don't go, please? We need each other and.. just don't leave me."

Junkrat couldn't help a small smile at that, shaking his head and reaching to run a hand over his cheek, "yer a great boyfriend, mate...It's just unfortunate yew got saddled with such a trainwreck..." He sat up after a moment and scooted closer, relaxing in his arms when they wrapped around him, "yew ain't doin' nothin' wrong...It...It ain't anythin' yew've done, I promise. Yew bein' there t'jus' listen to me helps..." He rested his chin over his shoulder and tried to smile for him, "M'just a tired, fucked up person. I always have been." He squeezed him tighter, holding onto him like he never wanted to let go, "b-but yew stick it out with me anyway..." He sunk lower, so his head was pressed into his chest, "any other person woulda' bailed by now...Because I'm nothin' but a heavy burden...B-but yew stayed."

He glanced up at him and swallowed, looking down, "I jus' don't want yew t'feel like yew ain't got no one t'lean on when yew need it." He gave him a tired smile, reaching to pull him down into a soft kiss, "I spent my whole life carrying every new burden life decided to shoulder onto me...An' I jus'...Can't let anyone else carry that." He leaned into his hand and relaxed a little, glancing up at him, "I...I wont leave." He leaned into him and gave a shaky sigh, "I jus' hope maybe someday I'll actually get a chance t'rest. Sometimes I feel like I'm 100 years old..." He gave a sad chuckle at this.

Lucio didn't hesitate to lean into the other's hand with a small smile of his own, chuckling quietly. "I don't care if you're a mess or not, you're mine and I love you for who you are," he'll mumble as he moves closer to the other, continuing to hold onto him tightly. Lucio won't let go anytime soon. "I'm glad I can help in some way since it makes me feel worthless if I can't do anything." The squeeze made him laugh softly as he moved a bit to press a kiss on top of Jamie's head. "Like I said, I love you for who you are, and I don't care if you're broken or not. You're my boyfriend and I'll always love you, no matter what." Lucio then tightened his hold more again, moving his hand to gently rub the other's back. "I stayed because.. well.. I'm crazy in love. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and you're so patient and caring. And you try, that's what matters."

He looked down at the other, giving him a smile. "Hey now, we got each other, alright? I can lean on you and you can lean on me, no matter what," he then nodded as he moves his hand to play with the other's hair, happily returning the kiss. "I'm strong, I can handle anything you throw at me, promise." Now hearing that made Lucio finally relax and sigh. "Want to know something?" He'll start before leaning down to keep his head close to the other. "If you leave, I'm coming with you."

Junkrat pulled him into a gentle kiss when he leaned into his hand, giving him a sincere smile, "I'm glad yew love me, mess an' all...I'm jus'..." He sighed softly and shook his head, "I'm always afraid I'm gonna scare yew away..." He chuckled when Lucio kissed the top of his head, leaning into his arms and sighing softly, feeling himself relax at his words. He could do this, he could weather this storm, he wasn't alone, "M'glad yew don't mind me bein' broken...C-cause...I don't think anyone could ever fix me." He sniffed a little at this, giving him a small smile, "yer jus' plain crazy is wot yew are, mate." He kissed his cheek, "but I love crazy."

He gave him a more confident smile at those words, nodding and sitting up a little, only to pill him close again, "right! He chuckled when he played with his hair, closing his eyes and looking relaxed by the gesture, "yew sure? Cause I got a lot of burdens...There's a lot of shit that's jus' built up over so long..." He trailed off and couldn't help but look surprised at that, chuckling and putting a hand on his cheek, "good t'know...I ain't goin' anywhere yet...B-but...It's nice t'know I ain't gotta leave yew be'ind, mate."

Lucio happily returned the kiss with a little laugh. "Afraid of scaring me away? If I didn't love you as much as I do, you probably would have done that already." He replied as he moves his hands to rest them on Jamie's waist instead. "No matter what you do, I'm sticking by you." Lucio added before moving to cuddle a bit closer to the other man. "What is there to really fix? What if they do find something and it ends up changing you?" He asked rather quietly with a small frown, moving again to press a gentle kiss to the other's cheek. "I'm crazy? Maybe I am just a bit," he'll say with a laugh, blushing lightly at the kiss.

He's glad that the other seems to be brightening up and getting out of that slump he dived into. The closeness will only make Lucio smile more, running his fingers through the other's strands of hair. "I'm very, completely, sure," he'll reply with a nod, leaning into the other's hand. "You're stuck with me now, alright? I'm not going to let you go so easily."

Junkrat laughed and nodded, looking down a little bit after the kiss was broken, "Ha! S'pose thas' true...I've given yew plenty of reasons t'bail...But yew don't." He pressed his face into his cheek and nuzzled firmly, "yer somethin' really special, mate." He really hadn't thought of it like that, what would happen to him if they found something wrong and tried to fix it? He wouldn't be him anymore, and he liked who he was, "I guess yew got a point...I...I'm broken b-but I like me. I don't wanna be anyone else." It was a perspective he'd never had before, and one he rather needed.

His breathing became more relaxed as he continued to run his fingers through his hair, sighing softly with a smile, "Good...I...I don't want t'be let go." He breathed and looked up at him, furrowing his brows, "thanks fer findin' me...I was about to do somethin' so stupid." He let out a soft sigh, "no one else I'd rather be stuck with, mate."