Post by thelori24 on Aug 26, 2016 1:17:05 GMT
He didn’t know what had set her off this time…he usually didn’t…but he could hear her banging around in the kitchen, the noises becoming louder paired with that sound she made when something had her agitated and frustrated.
Normally she was fine...as fine as she got anyway. Normally she was happy and contented. Other days...not so much.
He found her rifling through cabinets, pulling things out and tossing them aside.
“Hey. What’re ya lookin’ for?” He asked. She rarely answered or even seemed to acknowledge him like this, but he never stopped trying.
She got to the locked cabinet, tugging on it once, twice, again. She hit it with a fist and tried again.
“C’mon, there’s nothing in there you need, why don’t ya…”
But she cut him off, not looking at him as she shook her head hard. “No!”
“No? No what?”
“No!” She yelled it this time, high pitched as she shifted away, hands running through her hair, casting about as though looking for something that would be disastrous not to find. She swung back around and swept a bunch of things from the counter with a frustrated noise, they landed on the floor with a clatter that she shied away from.
He’d see her like this before, next would come breaking things. He stepped forward and caught her hands in his. “A’right, we’re not doin’ that today.” He said firmly.
She writhed and tried to pull away from him but he was bigger and stronger and she couldn’t get away. Lightening quick she bent her head and sank her teeth into his wrist. It had the desired effect…at least as far as him letting her go with a hiss of pain and surprise. “The fuck?” He burst out, drawing his hand back and having to fight down his fight or flight response to the injury…at least she hadn’t broken the skin.
She shied away, giving him a sidelong glance that managed to be both reproachful and apologetic at the same time as she still paced, the two squared off on opposite sides of the kitchen.
Then just as quickly as it had come up, her temper seemed to calm again. It was as though she just let her knees buckle under her as she sank down to the kitchen floor, leaning her head up against the cabinet with a muffled miserable sound.
He ran a hand over his eyes, continuing the motion on up through his hair, before he approached carefully, slowly sitting down on the floor in front of her. He didn’t stare directly at her, she didn’t him. That sort of eye contact only seemed to agitate her more.
Finally. “I’m sorry.”
It was all he could say. All he had left. He’d used up all of his other words and options years ago. Nothing he seemed to do or say seemed to do much of anything. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living in a brain that misfired much of the time, not able to get his point across in a way anyone else understood. He’d get angry too. He didn’t know how to help, except keep doing what he was doing, even if deep down he secretly suspected maybe he did more harm than good without even trying to.
If they’d been anywhere else…there would have been options. Doctors. Tests. Therapy. Pills. *Something*.
Here? All he could do was ride these storms out with her, until the day he couldn’t anymore. He’d done well, staying alive this long as a Junker. But sooner or later…that luck would run out. And he wasn’t a kid anymore either. No one else would put up with her. No one else would look after her. No one else would protect her. He cringed to think of what would happen to her when he wasn’t around anymore.
He wished he could give her better, because dammit, even with all of her problems she was a good fucking kid and she deserved half a chance.
She gave him another sidelong glance, before sliding closer. She took his hand in hers, fingers tracing the bite marks she’d left behind. She let out a low sigh before she leaned forward, letting the top of her head come to rest against his chest with a soft thump. And that’s where she stayed.
One hand wiped the sudden stinging away from his eyes while the other came to rest against her back.
“It’s a’ight…” he said quietly. “It’s gonna be a’ight.”
Because what else could he say?
He hated being helpless.
Normally she was fine...as fine as she got anyway. Normally she was happy and contented. Other days...not so much.
He found her rifling through cabinets, pulling things out and tossing them aside.
“Hey. What’re ya lookin’ for?” He asked. She rarely answered or even seemed to acknowledge him like this, but he never stopped trying.
She got to the locked cabinet, tugging on it once, twice, again. She hit it with a fist and tried again.
“C’mon, there’s nothing in there you need, why don’t ya…”
But she cut him off, not looking at him as she shook her head hard. “No!”
“No? No what?”
“No!” She yelled it this time, high pitched as she shifted away, hands running through her hair, casting about as though looking for something that would be disastrous not to find. She swung back around and swept a bunch of things from the counter with a frustrated noise, they landed on the floor with a clatter that she shied away from.
He’d see her like this before, next would come breaking things. He stepped forward and caught her hands in his. “A’right, we’re not doin’ that today.” He said firmly.
She writhed and tried to pull away from him but he was bigger and stronger and she couldn’t get away. Lightening quick she bent her head and sank her teeth into his wrist. It had the desired effect…at least as far as him letting her go with a hiss of pain and surprise. “The fuck?” He burst out, drawing his hand back and having to fight down his fight or flight response to the injury…at least she hadn’t broken the skin.
She shied away, giving him a sidelong glance that managed to be both reproachful and apologetic at the same time as she still paced, the two squared off on opposite sides of the kitchen.
Then just as quickly as it had come up, her temper seemed to calm again. It was as though she just let her knees buckle under her as she sank down to the kitchen floor, leaning her head up against the cabinet with a muffled miserable sound.
He ran a hand over his eyes, continuing the motion on up through his hair, before he approached carefully, slowly sitting down on the floor in front of her. He didn’t stare directly at her, she didn’t him. That sort of eye contact only seemed to agitate her more.
Finally. “I’m sorry.”
It was all he could say. All he had left. He’d used up all of his other words and options years ago. Nothing he seemed to do or say seemed to do much of anything. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living in a brain that misfired much of the time, not able to get his point across in a way anyone else understood. He’d get angry too. He didn’t know how to help, except keep doing what he was doing, even if deep down he secretly suspected maybe he did more harm than good without even trying to.
If they’d been anywhere else…there would have been options. Doctors. Tests. Therapy. Pills. *Something*.
Here? All he could do was ride these storms out with her, until the day he couldn’t anymore. He’d done well, staying alive this long as a Junker. But sooner or later…that luck would run out. And he wasn’t a kid anymore either. No one else would put up with her. No one else would look after her. No one else would protect her. He cringed to think of what would happen to her when he wasn’t around anymore.
He wished he could give her better, because dammit, even with all of her problems she was a good fucking kid and she deserved half a chance.
She gave him another sidelong glance, before sliding closer. She took his hand in hers, fingers tracing the bite marks she’d left behind. She let out a low sigh before she leaned forward, letting the top of her head come to rest against his chest with a soft thump. And that’s where she stayed.
One hand wiped the sudden stinging away from his eyes while the other came to rest against her back.
“It’s a’ight…” he said quietly. “It’s gonna be a’ight.”
Because what else could he say?
He hated being helpless.