At the Other End of the Leash [Sky/Sam]

Grayson felt a bit better once he started to feel more calm wash over him, stick the bottle back into his pocket, "it's not right to keep stuff like this from her...Besides...Y'know I'm forgetful." He shrugged, "so at least I'll know someone more responsible than me has it right?" He chuckled softly, sticking his hands in his pocket as he trailed after them towards the nurse, "thank you, like you didn't have to but...Well you're cuttin' into your class time...It means a lot." His tone was sincere as he spoke and he smiled over at them, still a little drawn in and hunched, but he at least didn't feel like he was about to pass out or die, "yeah!" He chuckled, "bit of a white lie but...Well an innocent one, right?" He didn't usually like lying, but at least it was harmless.

He grinned, "Sky. It's nice to meet you!" He chuckled, "either or, most people call me Gray, but I have no preference." He nodded, letting out a breath through his teeth and sighing, "you're really nice, people aren't usually so nice..." He let out a nervous little laugh, "it's a lot nicer than my old school..." His old school had been in the shittiest part of town, the kind of place where shootings were commonplace, "so uh...Like you don't gotta...But like I'm interested!" He smiled, "tell me about you? Just like...Y'know...Icebreaking..." He was trying, they seemed nice enough, even if this was only because they did this for every new student. Making a friend couldn't hurt, right?

Sky shrugged. "It's okay, that class is really easy and she's generally pretty cool as long as all your work gets done...I'm pretty caught up in her class so missing part of one class for a good reason won't really ding me...and it's lunch after this so that works out!" They grinned.

they flushed a little and their smile softened when he said they were nice, that actually wasn't something they heard a whole lot of...sometimes cool...sometimes a pushover...but they liked nice.

"Yeah? I mean Chicago had to have been at least a little bit cool, right? I've never really been to any big cities, mostly just lived around here...I mean it's pretty...and it's nice...but it's....really kinda boring..." They admitted. "Nothing cool ever really happens here...soon as I graduate I'm blowing this place, going someplace cool!" Going someplace people didn't look at them sideways, and treat them oddly for being who they were.

"Me? I'm not that interesting...I'm kinda your typical goodie-two-shoes, theater-kid." They laughed, they got told they were a goodie-goodie enough that they had finally decided to just own it. "You seem cooler, tell me something about you!" They encouraged.

Grayson chuckled softly and nodded, "good to know...I hope she doesn't like...Think poorly of me for walking out or something..." He didn't want to make a bad impression on his teach right out of the gate, "It's bad...I'm like...Seeing a therapist and shit but...Like I only just started that so it's bad." He frowned a little, "talking one on one like this is fine...It's being crowded...With a lot of people...I panic...I get overwhelmed and suddenly everything is like ten times more over stimulating, y'know?" He looked over at them with a chuckle, "but Ian, he thinks he can help...I'm sure trying..." He ran a hand through his hair, "ah jeeze...Sorry for dumping on you...I'll uh...Stop." He gave them a half smile. The last thing he ever wanted to do was shovel all his junk on someone else, he carried his own burdens alone, with Ian's help, but he wouldn't put it on another student.

His face brightened a little and he laughed, "Yeah! Chicago is pretty cool!" He ran a hand through his hair a bit, "to be honest though...I kind of like how quiet it is here." But then he'd also lived in the bad part of town, with his mom.

He grinned when they spoke again, "theater? How cool is that!" He said this with a genuinely interested voice, "so you like act and stuff?" He grinned, "going to be in anything soon?" He wanted to know more, he wanted to maybe go watch them in action as well. When they asked about him, he laughed, "Uh...Well I'm not all that interesting for reals...I like baking? But other then that..." He laughed softly and shook his head, "I'm a bit boring."

"I mean, it does kinda put you on the spot..." Sky agreed. "It'd rattle most people...I can totally see how it'd stress you out." They agreed. "I know it's embarrassing but I'd try and not let it get to you too much...I know, easier said than done..." They gave him a bit of a wry smile.

"It's okay, I don't mind if you wanna talk about it!" Sky smiled up at him. They were good at listening, thats one thing they were always really good at, even the tough stuff. Maybe especially the tough stuff. If that's how they helped best...they were happy to do it.

They also couldn't help but laugh a little. "Oh, you like the quiet now...but don't worry, you'll get bored soon enough...we all do at some point..." They wanted out of this place, this dead end where people never seemed to go anywhere or become anything or see the world...although they supposed they could see how he might like it, if he'd come from all the city chaos. It just...it wasn't what Sky wanted for themselves.

Sky brightened to talk about theater. "Sometimes I act...mostly I do a lot of technical stuff. Lighting, sound, making sure the set doesn't fall and kill people..." They laughed a little. "It's always challenging, and that makes it fun."

They nodded at him. "Baking? That sounds pretty cool to me...so like..donuts? Fancy cakes and stuff? Muffins? All the things?" They asked eagerly. "Hey, you know what...a way to break the ice...maybe bring some tasty stuff to class...way to most people's hearts it through food!"

===

They had been kind of dating for a bit now, sort of quiet like, not bringing in families on either side to complicate things up.

But they hadn't actually been out on a nice date, which is something Sky had wanted to do, for themselves and for Gray, who'd seemed even more stressed then usual lately. Unlike Sasha he seemed reluctant to talk about it, and Sky wasn't entirely sure how to work with that, but still wanted to try. A nice evening out seemed a good place to start...this place was fancy and not cheap, wiping out a decent chunk of their saved up after school money, but they felt it was money well spent.

The meal had been delicious, and fun, talking about pretty much everything but school and home and all that. Towards the end they stretched a hand to Gray across the table.

"This was a lot of fun...I wish it didn't have to end...you know, endless date..." They laughed a little.

It had been nice, and he'd needed the time to just shut his brain off and enjoy himself. Things had gotten incredibly stressful between himself and Sam since the incident where he'd been picked up by the cops, with strict curfews and constant phone calls, never having a chance to breath without having to say where he was and who he was with, and how long he planned to be there. It was just as much genuinely suffocating as it was him dealing with something that he'd never dealt with before. He would have been okay with rules, with boundaries and expectations, but the longer things went on this way the more overwhelmed and choked he felt, and going home filled him with so much dread now that he could hardly stand it.

But today had been nice, having a chance to just enjoy himself with Skylar, who he was growing more and more fond of, he didn't know if they were officially dating, and he hadn't told his dad at all, but he was happy in their company, they made him feel less stressed, helped him forget what was going on.

But it was only temporary, and as the date was winding down, Grayson's demeanor had become incredibly fidgety and uncomfortable. He'd forgotten to text Sam, something he was supposed to do as often as possible, and his brain was already cooking up a million of the worst scenarios to what would be waiting for him when he got home. He could feel the prickly heat of his own panic crawling across his skin as he looked up, squeezing Skylar's hand and smiling, though it was strained, "Me too! Wish we could just...Stay here...Or anywhere else...Just...Stay together, y'know?" He tried to steady the very slight tremble in his voice as he spoke. He didn't want to pile his problems on Skylar.

Sky hadn't missed that Gray's tension had left for a while, but as the evening started winding down started getting more anxious and fidgety, seemingly worried about something. Sky worried what it was that he was so worried about, that the thought of going back to his normal life left him like this.

"Yeah...I mean...it sucks..." They admitted. "That we can't just...hang out more. All the time..." They hated that they had to be sort of secret and sneaky, they hoped eventually they'd actually feel like they could tell their families, and it would all be okay. "I want us to spend more time together...to...you know...curl up together...wake up next to each other..."

They squeezed his hand back hard. "Gray...can I...what's going on?" They asked, worried. "You seem really stressed out...if something is bothering you...lemme help..."

Grayson nodded and sunk his head a little at their words, feeling them too. He wasn't sure what Sam's views on him dating where as a whole, much less with someone of the same gender, or even someone like Skylar who preferred to been seen as no gender, it wasn't like he was ever ashamed of them, he wasn't, but he was already stressed out about doing everything perfectly, about not crossing the line and going to far, he didn't want his dad to look at him funny for this either. There had never been any rules set down for him when it came to dating, but he was still afraid that he was breaking something unseen and unknown. And it was the not knowing that made him the most afraid.

He nodded again and looked up at them, "I want that too...God...More than anything..." He knew Skylar didn't feel comfortable taking him to their house, it was ridiculous that he couldn't be the one who felt that confidence. He wanted to bring Skylar home and lay in his bed with them, he could just imagine the view, and how relaxing that would be.

He looked up when they squeezed his hand, sighing, "It's just...I-I don't want to burden you with that..." He sunk inward on himself a little, "y-you have enough junk you deal with without having my problems added on..." He chewed at his lip, "you're noy my problem dump...I-I'm not going to do that to you." He gave them a gentle, but slightly strained smile, squeezing their hand back.

"Hey." Sky frowned across the table at him. "Hey, Gray, listen to me...I wanna hear if something is bothering you. I wanna try to help...even if helping is just listening so you don't have to do it all by yourself."

They weren't used to having to dig worries and problems out of people, between Sasha, between their family that didn't tend to suffer in silence...this worried them a little bit, not knowing what Gray was thinking or worried about.

"I want to listen. I want to talk." They reached out their second hand to him. "You...don't have to...but...if you want to...I'm here. Cause...you know...you're my boyfriend?" The last words ended in just the hint of a question, they'd never called him that, they were testing it out, testing otu how he reacted to it, hopeful that he'd like how it sounded as they liked saying it.

Grayson looked at them for a few moments before he sighed and nodded, "o-okay..." He always felt bad making other people take on his burdens, especially Skylar, who dealt with that shit from Sasha, and from their family, they had enough to worry about without him adding his own dumb drama to that mix. Still, they seemed genuine, and after a while he looked up, looking a little surprised when they called him their boyfriend, he couldn't help the slight coloring of his cheeks at the words, and the smallest smile, "of course I am...Just..." He sighed, "okay...I'll...Try..." He looked around before getting up to come and sit next to Sky on their side of the booth, closer so he could talk softer.

"You remember when...Like a little while ago I told you the cops picked me up after I was dumb and borrows my dad's truck?" He sighed and looked down, swallowing down the prickly anxiety, "he's...Been so..." He gestured, "suffocating...Every little mistake I make it feel like he's there just waiting for it..." He couldn't help his slight tremble from his nerves, "I feel like I can't breath, like I have to call him every hour on the hour or I'm off doing some illegal thing or another..." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, "going home is...It puts me damn near having a panic attack...Just the thought...Because like what if I didn't call enough...What if I did...I dunno...Some other fuckin' thing wrong?" He looked up at them, "I was getting better y'know...Between therapy and medicine but...But now I'm nosediving again...I'm always anxious...Depressed...Panicking...It's always something..." He looked down, "I don't know how much longer I can stay held under the water like this..."

Sky smiled, glad that Gray didn't reject the word, reaching around to rub his back as he came to sit next to Sky in the booth.

They nodded and listened as Gray started to explain why he was stressed. "Yeah, I remember you telling me about that, and your dad kinda freaked out." They acknowledged. "It sounds like he's just really worried about you." They tried to understand how his dad might feel about all this, but it didn't make it any easier on Gray either.

"But...that's really stressful...it's like sometimes they just totally think we're not capable of doing things right and are gonna wreck stuff anyway without them breathing down their neck..."

They leaned over, resting their head on his shoulder. "I wish I could let you come home with me...or do something to make it less stressed out for you." They sighed quietly. "Like...can you talk to him at all? Can you tell him how it makes you feel?"

He let out a shaky breath when they rubbed over his back, leaning into them a little bit and resting his cheek against the table, face turned towards them, "I really appreciate his worry...I'm just sick of feeling like I can't do anything right..." It was a trait he was almost positive he'd picked up from his mother, though not in the same way, but shitty sick brain always made mountains out of molehills, over things that he knew should be a big deal, "it feels like...Like he's just waiting for me to screw up so he can..." His voice hitched, "send me away..." He felt tears biting at his eyes, "I don't want to lose another home...All because I'm a useless fuck up..." He tried to breath, to ease the pressure in his head, but it did little to help, "I just...feel lousy...I feel worthless...I know I fucked up but...I've been trying so hard to just be perfect and I can't, Sky...I can't..."

He looked up at them with an unsure expression, "I dunno...I'm afraid he'll just think I'm whining or being ungrateful...That I'm just complaining about having rules...I don't care about the rules...I don't mind them..." He but a hand over his chest and squeezed, "I just can't breath..." He only sort of meant that figuratively, "c-can we...Go outside?" He was starting to feel like he couldn't breath in here, they'd already payed the bill, "I...Really can't breath..."