Post by thelori24 on Jan 8, 2017 8:02:56 GMT
Ian let him talk, let him get it all out, unsure how to respond to this. He understood at least some part of what the other man must have gone through, to feel so lost and so overwhelmed and so close to drowning that even a hand reached out to save you didn't feel like enough. For him, that hand had always been enough to pull him back, be it Sol's, or Harley's...but it wasn't a far leap to think how it would feel for that to not be enough. And the thoughts made him feel nervous and sick as well. These were things he tried not to think about too much, especially since things had been so much better lately.
"I know you did everything you could for him. Because I know you, and I know you'd never do anything less." He tried to keep his voice steady as he just held the other. He was driven and dedicated in ways that most weren't, and he knew if there'd been anything else he felt he could have done, he would have done it already, even if it was hard to believe that now, in hindsight. "Sometimes...these things...you can do everything right, and sometimes...it's still not enough. And it's fucked up, but that doesn't mean you didn't try hard enough." He wasn't good at this, not like Harley was, but he didn't want to watch him blame himself for something so terrible.
When he spoke of his worries about finding Ian like that, it was as though he'd been punched in the stomach. He understood how if he'd ever followed through in those moments, how he would leave behind people who'd be hurt by it. But to hear it voiced, to hear that worry and to know he carried those fears...the words hurt. He wondered for a brief and terrible moment if Harley ever had such thoughts, such moments. He wondered what the chances would ever be that those roles would be revered and he'd walk in on such a thing. Harley always seemed so cheerful, so together. The thought was chilling. He held on tighter, resting his face against the other's hair. "But I didn't. Because of you." He reminded him, the only words he could get out in that moment.
"I know you did everything you could for him. Because I know you, and I know you'd never do anything less." He tried to keep his voice steady as he just held the other. He was driven and dedicated in ways that most weren't, and he knew if there'd been anything else he felt he could have done, he would have done it already, even if it was hard to believe that now, in hindsight. "Sometimes...these things...you can do everything right, and sometimes...it's still not enough. And it's fucked up, but that doesn't mean you didn't try hard enough." He wasn't good at this, not like Harley was, but he didn't want to watch him blame himself for something so terrible.
When he spoke of his worries about finding Ian like that, it was as though he'd been punched in the stomach. He understood how if he'd ever followed through in those moments, how he would leave behind people who'd be hurt by it. But to hear it voiced, to hear that worry and to know he carried those fears...the words hurt. He wondered for a brief and terrible moment if Harley ever had such thoughts, such moments. He wondered what the chances would ever be that those roles would be revered and he'd walk in on such a thing. Harley always seemed so cheerful, so together. The thought was chilling. He held on tighter, resting his face against the other's hair. "But I didn't. Because of you." He reminded him, the only words he could get out in that moment.
