Youth Gone Wild [Junkrat]

He hadn't expected her anger to flare, although he probably should have, it wasn't like he blamed her for his being drugged, he sighed, "yeh. Freaked me out to." He was fine and then he was on the ground completely disoriented, he looked over at her with a put off expression when he caught something else she said, "thas'...Fair...I wouldn't want no one put away fer my worthless ass but...I didn't exactly ask t'be put in that situation either." Was she implying that he fucked up? Or whoever left a spiked glass lying around?

He sighed himself and looked to the side, looking a bit sad, "look...I understand. I can't forgive yew fer abandoning me...But I understand." He didn;t meet her eyes as he kept speaking, "I jus'...I ain't cut out fer livin' like this...There's shit...Y'know..." He gestured with his hand to his head, "...Up here, that if I don't get it sorted I'll completely lose touch an' end up shoved in some facility fer th'rest of my life. It's serious shit, an' I'm fuckin' scared..." He looked over at her with a soft sigh, "I'm willin' t'be yer friend still...B-but...I can't keep doin' th'things I've been doin'..." He ran his hand through his hair, "I'm sick of feelin' pushed to th'point of attempting t'just off meself...I want t'change." He looked over at her, "if yer willin' t'be my friend even if I ain't livin' wild...Then I'm willin' t'be yers." He offered her a weak smile.

She looked up at him for a moment. "No...not....*cause'a* you. I mean, it was a fuck-up...shit happens. But...no one believes me when I say shit, why the hell would they believe me when I'm saying, hey, I didn't drug him? I didn't give it to him or sell it to him...as I'm standing there over your fucking convulsing body. Yeah, who are they gonna believe huh?"

She found herself oddly touched when he said he'd still be her friend, but she still frowned. "Look man...it's cool if you wanna get your life straight. I mean...I can fucking respect that. But if that's what you wanna do...last thing you need is my stupid ass hanging around. I'll just....drag ya right back in." She shrugged, trying to play it off as just matter of fact instead of a thought that actually bothered her. "Cause I mean...that's what I do. There's just...a fucking vacuum of suck around me and everything in it gets trashed...I'm the fuck-up that's gonna end up put away for life or in a body bag before I'm 25. Everyone knows it. Everyone says it. I'm just...tryin' to put it off for as long as I can, y'know..."

"You should..I dunno, get your head fixed or whatever you wanna do, Cause y'know, you're a cool guy. And it's cool you'd still wanna be my friend, cause hell, I know I wouldn't wanna be. But y'know...I think you can do a lot better..." She finally looked up at him, the simple and matter of fact way she accepted the things she said about herself hung painfully.

Jamison shrugged and looked to the side, "I'da vouched fer yew. I'm th'victim, woulda' been my say wot 'appened. I wouldn't lettem put yew away." It was neither here nor there anyway, he was alive and she was off the hook, it wasn't worth it to think about the what ifs. He looked up at her when she spoke and sighed softly, "'avoc..." He was thinking back on what Ana said, was Havoc right then? Would she just inevitably drag him back down? He wasn't sure, "wot makes yew think yew'd drag me back down? I ain't stupid. Fuckin' crazy maybe, but not stupid." He gave her a weak grin, "I'm jus' sayin'...I'll still be yer friend, I jus' might not be down for all th'shit we used t'do..." He reached a hand to scratch his head, "I'll always be around if yew wanna jus'...Y'know bullshit?" He got a cheeky grin and narrowed his eyes, "I ain't gonna become no goody two shoes choir boy, trust me."

He tilted his head and looked thoughtful, "I ain't no shrink...But it don't gotta end up that way...Yew ain't a bad person, no matter wot anyone says." He shrugged in his own matter of fact way, "yew coulda' bailed an' left me t'die, but yew fought one'a yer mates t'save my life. An' yew came back to make sure I was okay, even knowin' it was risky." He smirked a little, "M'still fuckin' pissed, but it means a lot." He knew he couldn't change shit about anyone, but at least he could try and let her know that she didn't have to be alone.

She rubbed awkwardly at her hair, making the greasy ends stand up a bit. "I'm not sayin' your stupid. I'm just sayin' like...I dunno." She took in a deep breath, held it and let it out again loudly. "I dunno. Someone to just shoot the shit with might be kinda fun..." She still wasn't sure though. He started going straight and everyone would be telling him to drop her cause she was a bad influence. And sooner or later he'd start to believe it. But...it might be cool while it lasted.

She scrunched up her face a little before admitting something to him. "I watched one'a my friends die like that, y'know? Back in New Mexico? Everyone was like...he'll fuckin' be okay....we can't fuckin' take him to the hospital...and...he...fuckin' died..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "I...didn't wanna watch you die too....don't make me any kinda good person though...I mean, c'mon, you have to hear the shit people say about me, an' most of it's true."

Jamison nodded and chuckled, "yeh, man I don;t give two flyin' shits wot anyone says." He puffed out his chest and looked serious, "I decide who I hang out with. I'm sick'a lettin' other people get t'me." He growled softly and clenched his fist, looking angry, "I been lettn' 'em my whole life. They've driven me t'doin' things t'myself I hated. So fuck 'em." Of course, saying and doing were two different things, their words would still hurt, but he really was sick of letting other people dictate his life.

He looked at her when she spoke, frowning and wincing at her words, "I'm sorry, mate." He sighed and looked to the side, "m'glad yew saved my life...It was...Kind of a huge fuckin' wake up call." One that he'd needed badly, he looked over to her and chuckled, "yeah, an' they same some pretty fucked up but true things about me." He shrugged and closed his eyes, "I don't care wot they say about yew. I really don't." He grinned and opened an eye at her, "yer my friend. An' as long as yew understand where I'm at, then I never mind shootin' th'shit with yew when yew need it!" He said this in a matter of fact way, as if that was that and that was all there was to it.

That...might well be the first time she remembered someone saying they were her friend...and just leaving it at that. No strings, no conditions, no 'as long as you do this thing for me'. She rubbed a hand through her hair again and swallowed to not tear up.

"Well...I'm glad you don't fuckin' hate me." She smiled, although a tiny waver in her voice gave her away.

"Yeah well...you're right. Fuck all those other stupid people and their stupid fucking ideas and their stupid fucking rumors, true or otherwise." A bit of her usual grin flickered.

"I...look, I can't promise I'll be super good at the all being understanding and shit...but like...hey, I'm willin' to give it a try. Just...tell me if i'm being too much of an ass, okay?" She shifted again, but there was a relief in her posture that hadn't been there before, she looked a little more relaxed.

"So, like...do you need anything else in here? Like a phone with games on it? Or a double cheeseburger? Or like...a good drink?" She said the last in a tone that said she was clearly teasing. Too soon? Probably. She wasn't good at tact or timing.

Jamison could hear the emotion in her voice and smiled, shaking his head at the implication that he might of hated her, "it takes a lot t'make me hate yew, mate. Like Shitmada? Hate that bastard. But yew? I don't hate yew." He laughed and waved his hand, "we all do dumb shit, sometimes it almost gets innocent Aussies killed, but it ws still jus' a dumb mistake." He shrugged in a matter of fact way and smiled, "an' I ain't dead yet, so don't sweat it." He wouldn't forgive her, but he wasn't going to hold a grudge.

He grinned at her and poked his tongue out, "didn't I already call yew out when yew were bein' an asshole?" He put his arm behind his head and chuckled, closing his eyes, "I ain't goin' soft...I'm jus' tryin' t'get some help with the shit goin' wrong in my head. Ana's helpin'..." He looked over at her and furrowed his brows, "yew did good...Tryin' t'get me outta there when I started acting weird." He breathed and looked down, "I jus' thought it was a panic attack until I fuckin' collapsed..." He shuddered at the memory.

He laughed when she asked him if he needed a drink, throwing her a middle finger with a cheeky grin, "Ass. A big juicy cheeseburger sounds fuckin' awesome...Hospital food SUCKS." He sighed, then glanced back at her, "Seriously though...Thanks fer comin' t'make sure I was okay."

"Yeah, but like...me being an asshole is pretty much a constant. So like, you're not gonna be able to do it once and call it good..." She teased back.

She blinked a little in surprise when he talked about Ana helping him, though to be fair she'd tried to check in with and offer resources to Havoc too...but she'd immediately shut that down, suspecting the offers came from a place of some kind of pity or judgement and she was too proud to want any part of it. It was a concept she wasn't used to, but maybe she did just want to help...to help. "Well, I hope she can help you or whatever. Y'know, so your head ain't broke."

When he flipped her off and called her an ass the grin came back in full force and she laughed. "See? Told ya! Told ya you'd have to say it more!"

Her smile softened a bit back at him. "Y'know, I'm glad you're mostly okay. And y'know what else? Next time I come back I'm smuggling in the biggest, fattest cheeseburger I can find, then you can have some real food. Cause I mean, don't they just serve like jello and shit in these places? Guy can't live on fucking jello..."

Jamison laughed at that and shook his head, "well I'll do me best t'let yew know when yew goin' too overboard." He gave a wink and a cheeky grin, "But lord knows I kin be an asshole too, so a little assholery ain't gonna kill me." Was that joke in poor taste? It had been funny in his head.

He nodded when she seemed surprised, to be honest, he'd been surprised too, "yeh, I was surprised too. I mean she's talked t'me before but..." He shrugged and looked thoughtful, "I jus' kinda laughed her off...She wasn't sent here t'see me though...I thin' she came because she wanted to..." He chuckled and nodded, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck, "god me too...I'm fuckin' suck of me 'ead bein' broken." It got worse the longer he left it alone, it was a scary thought.

He grinned when she did, unable to help it, "Ha! Well I kin do that!" His own expression became soft when her's did, and he found himself chuckling softly, "Yeh, well it takes more'n that to actually kill me." He flecked his one arm and stuck his arm out, "they make 'em better in Australia y'know!" He groaned at the mention of jello, "Jello, or Jello molded into something that looks like other food, but is really jus' more FUCKIN JELLO!" He shouted the last words before clapping his hand over his mouth, snorting, "M'goin' fuckin' stir-crazy!"

"Huh." She shrugged. "Well, maybe she's one'a the ones who actually gives a shit cause she gives a shit....not just cause people are saying 'hey, look what a good person you're being by caring about those losers'."

The jello made her laugh out loud again. "S'cruel and unusual, man. You're not all old with no teeth, you need REAL FOOD!" She raised her volume to match his for a moment, grinning.

"But hey, I mean on the bright side they're probably only gonna keep you in here until, like what, tomorrow? I mean like..." She gestured towards him. "You're doing better looks like, can't imagine they're gonna just be like, fuck you, you're here for a damn week or something...so you'll get to escape soon."

Jamison let out a breath and nodded, "I sure hope so. She seems genuine..." He was sick of being sick, and it would be a relief to get names put tot he shit going on in his head, so at least he would know. Sure he could guess, and he could assume, but it wasn't the same as solid diagnosis could be.

He glanced over at the door when a nurse poked her head in due to both of their outbursts, flashing her a crooked grin and giving her a wave, "M'okay! Don't worry!" The nurse gave an exasperated sigh before turning tail to head out, "well now they know we're crazy..." He laughed and wiped a tear of mirth, glancing up at her.

"Yeah, tomorrow at th'latest, they wanna make sure I don't freak out or fall into another seizure." He nodded, laughing and laying back against the bed, "yeh...Then I get to face my fears and find out fer sure what's wrong with me..." He couldn't hide the nervous waver in his voice, as eager as he was to find out, he was also scared, he sighed softly and rubbed his eyes before closing them, "I'm so wiped...Feels like I've run fifteen marathons in a row..."

She slapped a hand over her mouth and giggled sheepishly as the nurse poked her head in. "Or not crazy...about jello..." She burst out giggling again.

She frowned a little bit at his concern. "Yeah that's gonna be...well, I mean, good luck to ya."

She watched him close his eyes and lean back. "yeah, guess I should go and let you sleep and stuff, but like...call me or message me or whatever if they're keeping you around past tomorrow and I'll come back...otherwise...see you on the outside maybe?"

def'nitely hate jello after this." Okay that was a lie, he loved jello, just not hospital jello, or green jello, but who liked that stuff?"

He nodded and kept his eyes closed, chuckling softly, "M'gonna need some luck..." That was an understatement, he was acting nonchalant but he was scared out of his wits. He smiled at her and nodded, "yew know where t'find me if they lemme out tomorrow! Be at 'ome prob'ly...Maybe? I dunno...I'll see yew around though! Thas' a promise!" He knew he could very well be making a huge mistake, but people deserved second chances right? He felt like they did anyway.

---

It was weird being back on campus, even if he'd only been gone for a couple of days, sure had felt like forever. His mood had brightened considerably by the time he escaped that prison of clean and white, he'd gotta several visits and gifts from Lucio and even Gabe had come to see him. He was still feeling the after effects of the overdose, but the doctor had finally deemed him stable enough to leave, and he had someone he needed to talk to.

He kept his eyes on the school map as he turned down the path, he had to carry the damn thing around because he never failed to forget all of his classes, his professors had always been understanding of his serious memory lapses, which he was thankful for.

He pushed open the double doors before turning down the hallway that let to Ana's office, giving the door a gentle knock before picking his head in, "Ah...Professor Amari?" His tone was sheepish, he hoped he wasn't bothering her, "M'out of th'hospital...Uh...Wanted t'let yew know!" He gave her a bashful smile.